Dealing With Depression

“Dealing With Depression,” is not easy, but with support from loved ones and professional help from counselors and physicians, it is certainly possible. If you or someone you love has dealt with depression, then you know that it is a real and complex issue. Further, many people misunderstand and mischaracterize it. Hopefully, I can shed some light and share some hope.

Dealing With Depression: What is it?

According to the American Psychiatric Association, “Depression (major depressive disorder) is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. Fortunately, it is also treatable. Depression causes feelings of sadness and/or a loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed. It can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems and can decrease your ability to function at work and at home”(Torres, M.D., October 2020).

Is Feeling Sad The Same Thing As Depression?

All of us experience hard times, and hard times often cause sadness. Let’s say that you’ve experienced the loss of a job,  or a close friend has died. Naturally, you will feel sadness and even grief. Such experiences are a normal part of life. Dr. Torres continues, “But being sad is not the same as having depression. The grieving process…shares some of the same features of depression.

“Grief and depression…are also different in important ways:”

“Both grief and depression may involve intense sadness and withdrawal from usual activities. (But) They are also different in important ways:

• In grief, painful feelings come in waves, often intermixed with positive memories of the deceased. In major depression, mood and/or interest (pleasure) are decreased for most of two weeks.
• In grief, self-esteem is usually maintained. In major depression, feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing are common.
• In grief, thoughts of death may surface when thinking of or fantasizing about “joining” the deceased loved one. In major depression, thoughts are focused on ending one’s life due to feeling worthless or undeserving of living or being unable to cope with the pain of depression.

“Grief and depression can co-exist For some people, the death of a loved one, losing a job or being a victim of a physical assault or a major disaster can lead to depression. When grief and depression co-occur, the grief is more severe and lasts longer than grief without depression (ibid).”

        Dealing With Depression:Why it Hurts

Dealing with depression is made more painful when it is minimized when someone says “Its all in your head!” While it’s true that chemical reactions in the brain play a part in depression, so do other physical ailments, as well as genetics or a traumatic event. Another way people minimize depression is by saying it is evidence of a weak character or a lack of willpower.

“People are quick to stigmatize depression”

In a Psychology Today article titled “Why Do We Misunderstand Depression?”  Dr. Jean Kim writes from firsthand experience, “I know depression can be a multilayered beast, interlaced with one’s personality, vulnerabilities, and upbringing, all intermingling with the dark shades of misfiring brain chemistry. This complexity leads to ongoing confusion and debate over how much mental illness relies on personal resolve vs. personal biology” (Jean Kim, M.D.  December 29, 2017). Too often, people are quick to stigmatize depression, especially in the American culture where people tend to celebrate individualism.

“(Eventually we’ve) started to recognize that depression must relate to biology”

”People are quick to judge therapy or medication as a crutch in a perceived simple game of mind over matter: Such treatments are seen as either an easy tool for wimps who can’t solve their own problems, or a toxic mind-control method created by conspiratorial forces. But after the suicide of beloved star Robin Williams several years ago, something seemed to shift. People started to recognize that depression must relate to biology, because who would give up such an outwardly gifted life?”.

Is All Depression The Same?

No 2 people are exactly alike, even though they might have grown up in the same family, gone to the same schools, and had the same friends. 1 person might suffer from depression but their sibling might have a different response, or no depression at all. Because of our body chemistry, unique experiences, personality type, and a variety of other factors, there are a different of types of depression. Clearly, it is important to stay informed about the subject.

“In today’s world, we seem to be dealing with depression in more constructive ways; by discussing our feelings…”

In today’s world, we seem to be dealing with depression in more constructive ways; by discussing our feelings and experiences. I am a Baby Boomer (birth years 1946-1964).  As a result, I find it somewhat easier to discuss issues that my parents from the Greatest Generation (birth years 1901-1927) or someone from the Silent Generation (birth years 1928-1945). My father, born in 1924, dealt with his grief and sadness through his faith and his work.  On the other hand, I cope through writing, talking, and music.

For Now…

Like most anything else, we grow in our understand of depression through reading, discussion, and showing empathy. Showing love and kindness to one another creates an atmosphere that is conducive to understanding and growth. By planting seeds of compassion we will reap a harvest of healing.

Disclaimer: Thank you for reading The Gathering Place. I have served as a pastor and bishop of Christian churches for 37 years, however, I do not claim to be a licensed counselor, medical doctor, or psychologist. Instead, I am a researcher, a writer, and a caring friend who desires to lend a hand to the hurting and to lighten their load.