In honor of World Mental Health Day, October 10th, I’d like to talk about my own struggles, in hopes of helping someone else. Anxiety, Depression and OCD affect millions of Americans. We all use tools to help, be they Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, medication and/or natural remedies. With these strategies in a box, with God’s peace as the lid, relief can be found.
Anxiety
My very first panic attack occurred my junior year of high school. Racing heart, queasy stomach and the feeling of being trapped, enveloped me. These episodes continued through most of senior year, until I didn’t want to attend school at all. My mother signed me up with a therapist. “If your life and your schedule are being affected, you need to talk to someone.”
That someone came highly recommended and truly lived up to the hype. William Licamele was a gentle, teddy bear type of guy who listened well. Instead of lecturing, he would say, “I have a hunch your reaction is because of this.” He was also funny and down-to-Earth. He taught me Progressive Relaxation and other strategies to use when in the grip of intense fear. My dad had died suddenly of a stroke when I was 14, and I’d never grieved properly. This bottling-up emerged later as bouts of anxiety.
Sometimes I hyperventilate prayers during my acute anxiety times. It’s very hard to calm down once I get rolling. Luckily, these high-level scourges don’t happen very often!
I ask God for “the peace the world cannot give.” I ask Him to please stop the engine. My challenge is to believe He is with me, helping me calm my overactive adrenal glands. I cannot doubt. I breathe in through my nose for 10 seconds, whispering “Jesus”, then breathe out through my mouth slowly. This arrests the central nervous system’s gearing up. It’s a strategic halt. I’ve also read that holding ice helps thwart a full-blown panic attack, too. Physical and emotional distraction is key.
Also 5-4-3-2-1 sensory grounding. Find 5 things to see, 4 things to hear, 3 things to smell, 2 things to touch, and 1 thing to taste.
“Lord I believe. Please help my unbelief.”
Depression
I struggle with situational depression. When my ballet career ended from a torn ACL and broken ankles, I felt spectacularly bereft. I had spent my entire life in dance studios and performing. Then I taught for decades. I thrived on the hard work and the creativity of choreographing shows. I got such a kick out of my students of all ages. With too much arthritis now, it’s impossible to even demonstrate anything adequately. My identity was shattered. My self-esteem took a hit. I tried to go back to school and get my Masters for a new career, but it was too expensive.
I had to remember my gratitude list and thank God for the many things I did have: a husband of 34 years, 3 healthy daughters, a strong roof over our heads, friends we cherish. The Gratitude List actually changes our brain chemistry and gives us all a lift.
God has helped me know that He always has a plan for us, and now I work behind the scenes at a beautiful, huge theatre. No way could I ever be up on that stage again, (yikes), but I can certainly clap heartily as I watch those talented performers!
I have friends who have had success with depression meds. Their close relationship with the Lord helps them remain joyful, despite their rough journey.
“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
I have always been grossed out by germs –the invisible world of critters that can make all of us quite ill. Taking Microbiology in college did not help my obsession. Neither did Covid. Ugh. I wash my hands so often my skin is peeling and cracked. We go through multiple large bottles of soap every month. My desk must have everything pushed neatly to the side, and dust-free space in the center. God knows what germs are congregating there, and getting on my elbows, so I clean the area daily. And, don’t get me started on the petri dishes that are my phone and laptop! Ew. I alcohol-wipe them nightly.
And I am absolutely phobic about food handling. After a nice dinner and lovely conversation, I will interrupt a houseguest mid-sentence, to return a cheese tray to the fridge, if too much time has passed since I put it out. I can sense the Listeria growing, crowds of colonies! Ridiculous, I know.
What helps me is to try to be reasonable with all of this. Regular, normal hand-washing is healthy. Maladaptive, constant hand washing to the point of screaming skin is not.
In the Bible, it says 365 times, “Do not be afraid.” I am way too fearful as a practicing Christian. I know God shakes His head at me. He probably cracks up at my ludicrous shenanigans as I attempt to control the world.
I believe OCD is a manifestation of trying to control the uncontrollable. When I memorize Bible verses and repeat them to myself in these moments, it helps a lot. Some days I do better than others. Progress not perfection, right?
“Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace at all times and in every way.” 2 Thess. 3:16
We Have Enough, Do Enough, Are Enough
All of us do our best every day to maintain our productive lives. God isn’t looking for us to be successful. He is just looking for us to be faithful. I must get this deep in my psyche. Despite being invisible, God is very much close to us, rooting for us. He loves us exactly where we are.
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