In honor of National Parents As Teachers Day, November 8th, I’d like to share some of my most important life lessons. Thanks Mom and Dad! 1. Don’t announce your resume. 2. Never wear out your welcome. 3. Never forget thank-you notes! 4. Always go above and beyond the call of duty. 5. Always read and listen to both liberal and conservative newspapers and radio shows. 6. Conquer hatred with love.
1. Don’t Announce Your Resume
My mother always told me that people prefer to find out about you without you specifically telling them. This parental teaching is so valuable. In fact, this was illustrated to me at the tender age of 18. When I was sitting in the lifeguard chair at our community pool, I remember this hotshot guy standing behind me, boasting his butt off. As I listened to his look-at-me diatribe, I was overwhelmed. I almost tuned him out. The only reason I remained the dutiful listener, was because he was seriously cute.
When others learn about our achievements from another source other than our mouths, it has much more of an impact.
“Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger and not your own lips.”
2. Never Wear Out Your Welcome
I learned about supply and demand from my college Economics course. A large supply is always less valuable than a small one.
I used to be a very needy person ––actually making other people my Higher Power. I looked to them and not God, to get my needs met. The 3 A’s: Attention, Affection and Approval. We human beings look for these too much from fellow humans, and not enough from the Lord, I have come to believe. I did this folly for decades. I did not listen to my parents’ admonition until I got into my 50s! Nowadays, thank God, I look to our Heavenly Father for for help, because He will never disappoint me. As my Mom always said, “I know these things; I have lived a lot longer than you.” Indeed.
3. Never Forget Thank-You Notes!
Thank- you notes were “beaten” into us as kids. They were so tedious, but as I got older I realized how necessary they were, and they taught us gratitude and the realization that someone else’s effort needed to be acknowledged.
In Randy Pausch’s The Last Lecture, he tells the greatest story about this concept, and its far-reaching nature. A young woman wanted into Randy’s world-renowned imagination engineering course at Carnegie Mellon. (Students completing this earned compelling careers at Disney). She aced her interview, but did not quite have the grades to land the competitive spot in the Program.
Her name was Julie, and she experienced a miracle. Her appointment with Randy was late in the afternoon, and the main office door was closed. A janitor had to open up for her. Julie was so grateful for the custodian’s efforts that she somehow managed to send him a thank-you note at the facility, later on.
Randy Pausch decided, when all was said and done regarding this candidate, that he might take one last gander at her file. He was torn. He knew she’d be a good asset, but she simply did not have high enough marks. He grabbed her paperwork out of the drawer, and out fell the thank-you note! Randy knew that it was impossible for Julie to benefit in any way from this office-cleaner, yet she showed him her gratitude, just because.
That character she displayed, won her a spot in the coveted course of study!
“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” Colossians 3:17
4. Always Go Above and Beyond
As a teacher, part of the job description is doing more. At a dance school of almost 1,000 students, it was time for the big ballet studio rehearsals. Our wood floor was slippery for dancing in pointe shoes, so it had to be mopped with a product called Slip-No-More and water.
I offered to do this at the end of my night so it would be ready Saturday morning. I estimate at least 10 kids or parents passed by me, asking if the task I was doing got paid! And if not, why was I doing it? Interesting.
Giving extra service or “taking one for the team” is what makes organizations work, I was taught by my Dad. It can’t always be, “What’s in it for me?”
5. Open Your Mind To All Points of View
My dad was a very successful Administrative Law Judge. Not to brag (Oops, I’m totally bragging). He settled Labor/Management cases all over the world. He’d return home, and my brother and I would run up to him, shouting, “Who won? Who won?” He’d calmly reply, with an indulgent smile for us rugrats –”Both came out winners.” Huh?
Dad subscribed to both the liberal and conservative newspapers. He encouraged us to gather up all the information, and everyone’s feelings, so we’d truly understand any issue.
To this day I listen to both liberal and conservative talk radio, in equal time, in honor of Dad. I also follow controversial viewpoint sites on Instagram. I’m amazed at what this has done for me. We need to understand each other better in this country! We are not listening these days. We are noisy and judgmental in our society, and it’s deleterious to our caring for one another as fellow Americans.
It’s beautiful and strong to be able to speak freely here. It’s also vital that we pay attention to others, too.
“…Quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” James 1:19
6. Conquer Hatred With Love
So much pettiness abounds in a given day. We are tired and overworked. Sometimes we snap or get snapped at. I worked with a bully once. I’d come home feeling terrible and furious. Then I remembered my Dad’s words about conquering hatred with love, and I began to brainstorm what I could do to be kind to this woman.
She had a rough upbringing, which probably contributed to her in-office attitude, at times. Life had not been kind to her. But she was a performing powerhouse. Literally talented as crap. I decided to attend her shows and bring her flowers. She was very touched. I thoroughly enjoyed her onstage prowess, and we are friends to this day. What magic.
Dad, you were wise and loving. You left this world way too soon, but you are remembered, always. Your words and great example bear much fruit in my life.
These six parental lessons are as valuable to me as high-carat diamonds. My gratitude is immeasurable.
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