Addictions Among Us
In my pastoral role, I have become convinced that most families have a member who faces an addiction of some kind. According to a recent survey, 46% of all Americans have a friend or family member with a substance abuse problem. If one were to calculate the number of people who have behavioral addictions, the percentage would undoubtedly be much higher. No segment of society is immune. Recent comments by professional golfer Rory McIlroy about Phil Mickelson’s gambling addiction are a reminder of how common addictions are in our society.
Kinds of Addictions
There are many varieties of addictions. Some have addictions to legal substances like caffeine and alcohol. Others struggle with opioids and hallucinogenic drugs. There are some who have addictions to behaviors like shopping and overeating.
Addiction is not limited by one’s status or wealth. It is not prevented by one’s education. Addiction is, simply, a compulsive behavior that controls one’s life, and it can happen to anyone. Including successful professional golfers.
Mickelson’s Gambling Problem
ESPN Report on Mickelson’s Gambling
On August 11th, highly successful entrepreneur and gambler Bill Walters released excerpts from his upcoming book. In it, Walters accuses his former friend, PGA golfer Phil Mickelson, of a having a massive gambling problem. According to Walters, Mickelson, 53, has bet over $1 billion and has lost over $100 million over the last 3 decades. The most scandalous of his accusations include Mickelson allegedly attempting to bet $400,000 on the Ryder Cup.
In response to the Walters’ accusation, Mickelson denied betting on the Ryder Cup but admitted he had a gambling problem. He writes,
I never bet on the Ryder Cup. While it is well known that I always enjoy a friendly wager on the course, I would never undermine the integrity of the game. I have also been very open about my gambling addiction. I have previously conveyed my remorse, took responsibility, have gotten help, have been fully committed to therapy that has positively impacted me and I feel good about where I am now.[1]
Is the Cause in the Substance
If addictions are common, what is their cause? The most prevalent theory is that the power of the substance fuels addiction. A person would get a high from the substance or behavior when they first started using it. In order to achieve the same effect, he or she needs to use an increasing amount. As the usage continues, the brain rewires itself causing dependency. The rewired brain craves the substance, and the repeated use eventually puts the person under the control of a foreign entity. The substance finally prevents normal functioning. Then the ever increasing amount of the substance or the behavior eventually destroys the addict.
Mental health Disorders
While not necessarily a cause of addiction, mental health issues and addictions often accompany each other. For example, those who have bipolar disorder are disproportionately addicted. According to one study, 40% of those diagnosed with Bipolar 1 have an addiction in their lifetime.[2] Many persons with Bipolar 1 are self-medicating with substance or behavioral addictions.
It is not only those with Bipolar 1 who can develop an addiction. Those with anxiety, depression, ADHD, and personality disorders are also more likely to develop an addiction. If there is a person in your life who has a mental health issue, they are at greater risk than the rest of the population for developing an addiction.
Wiring and Firing
Those who write about the brain often say, “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” That is to say, when a person experiences two things at the same time, the brain will make one as a cue for the other. A person who smokes while drinking Caffé Misto will associate one with the other.
My grandfather was a smoker and smoked Salem cigarettes for as long as I can remember. I was his sidekick as a boy and was at his house as much as my house, or so it seemed. He always had a pack of Salems in his shirt pocket, and he would frequently smoke while drinking a cup of hot, black coffee. After his first heart attack in 1990, he was able to quit smoking. I suspect though, the smell of coffee made him crave a cigarette for the rest of his life.
What I find interesting is that even all of these years later, when I hear the iron strike against the flint in a Bic lighter or smell the burning butane after ignition, my brain expects to smell burning menthol and tobacco. Even as a non-smoker, my brain wired and fired. Even now, that association remains.
Mental cues are a significant part of the addiction. I read a study of a woman who had quit smoking. She had never had an issue after quitting until she started riding horses again. She had regularly smoked while riding before. When she started riding again the cravings started again, and they were powerful.
Increasing Dependence or Increasing Isolation
Author John Hari argues we have understood addiction incorrectly from the outset. From his perspective, addiction is not about increasing dependence. It is about increasing isolation.[3] Addicts suffer from loneliness and despair long before they suffer from chemical dependence.
See Hari’s Ted Talk Here: “Everything You Know About Addiction is Wrong”
Similar theories locate addiction in the nature of relationships rather than in the nature of substances. Addicts often come from families with no sense of boundaries. Where one person begins and where the other ends is not recognized or even known in these ill-defined bonds. These families are highly reactive and emotionally intense. Such families are breeding grounds for addictions and mental health disorders.
How Do We Treat Addicts
Whatever the cause of addiction, and I suspect each of the possibilities mentioned here is at least partially correct, it is appropriate to treat addicts with compassion not the kind of condescension Rory McIlroy exhibited. With a gleam in his Irish eyes and a chuckle in his voice, McIlroy said, “At least he can bet on the Ryder Cup this year because he won’t be a part of it,” when questioned about Mickelson’s gambling.
If Mickelson at 53-years-old could make the team it would be a story indeed. He is not Benjamin Button aging in reverse, and the Fountain of Youth is not located in Mickelson’s native San Diego. Sports, even golf, are bent toward the young. So, no one is surprised about 6 time Major Championship winner Mickelson not being on the Ryder Cup team. The addiction was the surprise. The insult about the addiction was designed to harm Mickelson.
McIlroy’s joke is unfortunate. Yes, the two have had cross words and exchanged unpleasantries for years. To use Mickelson’s addiction to make a public insult, however, is bad form and gives the impression the that McIlroy is petty. McIlroy may play a gentleman’s game, but his comments were anything but gentlemanly. They were contemptuous.
Compassion
Sadly, society often treats addicts with an edge of contempt, even if the addict is working to recover. The right way to treat an addict, though, is with compassion and humility.
Consider it this way. For those who have no addiction, have you ever had one too many, or two? Were you at a party at college and drank until you lost memory or got sick? Have you ever spent money you did not have just for the thrill of spending? What about gambling? On a getaway to Las Vegas did you ever spin the roulette wheel? Is there a time when you have lost track of time looking at social media? Have you ever gone to the pantry planning to eat one chip and, without realizing it, ate the whole bag? All of these are behaviors that can become addictive. Substances, sex, spending, gambling, overeating, and the internet all have the power to create addictions under the right circumstances.
If you do not have an addiction, it is not because you have avoided all addictive behaviors, in all likelihood. It is also not the result of higher moral standards on your part, most probably. It is most likely that the behaviors did not have the same effect on you as they did on others. That effect is beyond your control. So, when we encounter people with addictions, the best response might be to think, “There but for the grace of God go I.”
Praying would not be a bad thing either.
[1] https://www.cbssports.com/golf/news/phil-mickelson-denies-wagering-on-2012-ryder-cup-after-allegedly-wanting-to-place-400000-bet-on-u-s-team/
[2] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2094705/
[3] https://www.mentalhelp.net/addiction/social-connection-theory/#:~:text=According%20to%20Johann%20Hari%2C%20author,a%20medical%20or%20psychological%20illness.
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