What Relationships Need In Order Not To Die

Have you ever thought about your long-term relationships?

You may have a spouse you have loved all these years. Or you may have friendships that lasted through decades. You may even reflect upon your relationships with your close family and other people in your life.

What do you think had been the key to maintaining those relationships in your life? If you could go back to all your years together, what would you see that has helped you go through the worst of times?

Many of us would perhaps attribute our successful relationships to “love”. And yes, love is indeed the most important thing we need! But what kind of love? Or how must this love be expressed? How do we enable this love to work through our most troublesome years together?

The Problem With Long-Term Relationships

It is always a joy to witness marriages today that have survived many challenging years. We could probably see the fulfillment in the eyes of couples who were able to make their relationships work through thick and thin.

It is not an impossible task. But it is not easy either.

The problem with long-term relationships is that the freshness of a new relationship begins to fade along the way.

The unkind words we have said may slowly erase our sweetest whispers. The hurtful actions we have done may pile up in our memory until they almost block the sight of our wonderful memories of each other.

The problem with long-term relationships is the tiredness that creeps up upon us and the heaviness of having to carry the weight of our past mistakes.

The Need to Forgive

As we constantly commit mistakes, we must also learn to forgive.

Forgiveness may not always feel fair. But forgiveness will always set us free. It is that one thing that can help us let go of the many years of resentment and hatred.

We could never build a lasting relationship without forgiveness. How else could we let go of our burdens if we do not learn to forgive?

It is similar to our relationship with God. With Him, however, we are the ones who should ask to be forgiven.

Instead of always carrying the burden of our guilt and shame, we should allow Him to forgive us and set us free from our sins.

Before a Relationship Ends

We may not always realize the true condition of our relationships before it seems too late. Perhaps that is why many relationships seem to end so suddenly. The truth is that it has been crumbling through the years, but we have failed to notice it before it actually ends.

Before a relationship ends, we must apply every remedy possible. We should not let the burden of our past faults cripple us. We should not allow resentment and hatred to ruin the love that should continuously grow in our hearts.

Now some of us may ask, “What if some relationships seem to be beyond saving?”

Indeed, some relationships may already seem beyond the point of being repaired. They have been so damaged that we could no longer think how they could still be healed.

Yet isn’t it the same with some people’s relationship with God? When someone commits a mortal sin like murder, we may despair of their salvation.

But not so with God. The relationship may have been cut off. Yes, technically, it may have ended with that grave sin. And yet, whoever said that the a person cannot repent and begin a “new” relationship with God?

What Every Relationship Needs

Many of our earthly relationships may seem to be beyond saving, but perhaps we must learn to look again.

While there may be some relationships that could actually be beyond repair, there may be some that are not impossible to be revived.

How many relationships are there that could still be saved if we could just “begin again”?

Even if we can’t seem to see it, perhaps we could say, through self-sacrificial love and the grace of God, that there still lies that spark of hope for a new beginning to happen.

Maybe what every relationship needs is the power to start over and over again!

“Then Peter came and said to him, ‘Lord…how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.’” – Matthew 18:21-22 (NRSVCE)

Jocelyn Soriano writes about relationships and the Catholic faith at Single Catholic Writer. She is the author of 366 Days of Compassion, To Love an Invisible God and Mend My Broken Heart.