How Can I Forgive if I Can’t Forget?

Forgetfulness or Forgiveness?

How can I forgive if I can’t forget? I remember where I was. You probably do, too. None of us who lived through the horror of that day will ever forget. The fear spawned by the attacks on the World Trade Centers in New York City was some of the most intense of my lifetime. Most of us remember how we cringed for weeks every time we heard planes overhead, especially in a mall or stadium. September 11, 2001, changed us forever. Today marks the 22nd anniversary of that tragic day. As I’ve scrolled through social media, I’ve been admonished repeatedly to “Never Forget.” I won’t. How could I? I’d like to forget, but I can’t. But what about forgiveness?

I understand the sentiment, I do. We were shell-shocked that we, as a nation, had allowed ourselves to become so vulnerable. As the scenario unfolded over the following weeks and months, we shook our heads in disbelief that we could have been so blind. Like a child who learns the unmistakable lesson that the stove is hot or that knives are sharp, we must also learn to be aware that not everyone wishes us well. We must be diligent to protect ourselves. We should never forget.

However, as a follower of Christ, I must never equate “Never Forget” with “Never Forgive.” Unfortunately, many Christians have allowed themselves “room” to hold a grudge, harbor prejudice, and hate those responsible for 9/11. As hard as it may be to extend grace, “never forgiving” is a sad way to live and a huge spiritual barrier to our continued growth and maturity as a child of God. Allowing ourselves to hate for patriotic reasons or personal experiences is still hatred. It should not be deemed acceptable for our lives as believers.

How Can I Have Forgiveness?

Jane and I were recently looking for an illustrator for our new children’s book. After looking at several artists’ portfolios there was one particular artist that drew my attention. The artist was a Muslim and I wasn’t sure I was OK with that. Not because I’m a bigot or hate Muslims, but I just felt a little uncomfortable. An unknown prejudice surfaced. September 11th was all I could think about. I couldn’t forget, so how could I forgive? Besides, I wasn’t sure he would want to illustrate our book about Jesus. I finally decided to write to him and let him decide after seeing what the book was about. He agreed and did an exceptional job.

I’ve had business dealing with lots of folks over the years. This man was among the most pleasant, patient, and hard-working people I have ever worked with. He did multiple revisions, worked through several technical issues, and enthusiastically waded through language difficulties. I wrote him a few days ago to tell him how pleased we are to have his work and his name on our book. His first name, by the way, is Mohammed.

Jesus, the example

I almost missed the best illustrations for our book because, for just a few minutes, I confused “never forgetting” with “never forgiving.” That was my mistake. You see, Mohammed, by illustrating our book, also had to read our book repeatedly. A book about Jesus and His love for us: there may have been no other way to present the gospel to him except to hire him as our artist. I didn’t hire him for that reason, but it was undoubtedly an excellent way for God to tell me, “Mohammed is one of the people I love and one of the people my Son gave His life for. I have offered him forgiveness.” That spoke volumes into my spirit: I could forgive!

It’s OK to forgive, even if you can’t forget.

So, this September 11^th, it’s OK to remember. It’s alright to be emotionally upset about what happened 22 years ago. But as a Christian, it’s not okay to hold on to hatred and prejudice. We must see the Mohammeds in our lives through the eyes of Jesus.